UGH, AUSPOL. Why must you be the blurst? Anyway, to keep you up to date on reasons to hate our federal government, here’s a summary of some things over the last week. Don’t worry, there’s more.

Proposed Changes to the Dole

I HOPE YOU AREN’T ON THE DOLE, not because you’re lazy (you’re not) or undeserving (your government should support you), but because of the proposed job applying thingy. If you’re on Newstart or Work for the Dole, you might be applying for 40 jobs a month.  “What we want to do is to motivate job seekers to leave no stone unturned in the pursuit of a job,” Assistant Minister for Employment Luke Hartsuyker said, because people who are long term unemployed are definitely doing it on purpose.  Excitingly, Eric Abetz, actual Employment Minister, admits that this might mean employers are spammed with fake, insincere, inconvenient job applications. But I am sure he is just being over-cautious.

Excellently, Centrelink won’t help you do selection criteria for jobs because it takes too long! And someone has handily put together this guide for applying for 40 jobs as quickly as possible.

157 Tamil Asylum Seekers Not on a Boat

157 asylum seekers have been stuck on a boat for a month (thanks, Customs, for keeping us safe), but have finally been allowed to get off the bloody boat. Scott Morrison says this is only because India wants to interview them and take them back, not because he is stopping his very important task of turning back the boats. This might not actually be legal? Who knows anymore. Scott Morrison says the Tamil asylum seekers are ‘economic migrants’ from India which suggests he doesn’t really know a lot about Sri Lanka and India and Tamils, which doesn’t surprise me at all. Even the Indian High Commissioner to Australia, Biren Nanda, says Tamil people living in Indian refugee camps usually aren’t actually citizens of Indian, which demonstrates just how much Morrison listens to brown people (never).

Carbon Tax

Fulfilling a grand total of one actual election promise, the Carbon Tax has left us temporarily (give it time). Given Steph is a climate change campaigner, it will not surprise you to learn she disagrees with our PM’s assessment of it as ‘toxic’, and that its abolishment will boost confidence.

Privacy and Spy Stuff

Although it’s pretty traditional to make fun of ASIS and ASIO, there’s some new stuff being proposed about data retention (which nope. Nope. I can barely be trusted to keep my own records, I don’t want others keeping it), ASIS’ ability to spy on Australians overseas without Ministerial approval (which makes me feel super safe), and compelling use of third-party computers (ie, people who aren’t under investigation).

The Great Barrier Reef

I am super pleased to tell you, via information provided by Environment Minister Greg Hunt, that Australia’s largest coal mine, recently approved and between us and the GBR, will not impact the Great Barrier Reef! The extra 450 large ships that will have to sail through the GBR to get there every year are totally negligible, and the high water use of coal mines will absolutely not impact the local marine areas. Handily, if this seems confusing, yesterday saw the triumphant return of Ian the Climate Denialist Potato at FDotM to explain the impacts of the mine and how it’s all totally okay and Greg’s a great guy.