Some friends of No Award have been using our scripts from last week, so today we’re having a look at some more scripts, and also some of the reactions we’re receiving. This is to allow you to prepare for the possibility that, as much as we advise you to be polite to staffers, a staffer might be rude to you. This way, you can engage in self-care before and after making stressful phone calls and receiving rude emails.
Hello Quokkas. Here at No Award we are all about activism and empowerment and knowing your enemies but, just as our popular media is so dominated by US voices that we had to start No Award to centre us here in Antipodia, we’ve found the statements and actions around activism to be very UScentric.
So to start your 2017 off right, we’ve pulled together an Australia-focused how-to on activism and maintaining the rage.
Please note we started this guide about three weeks ago and were taking our time about it, but given the events of the last few days thought we’d better get it up and running ASAP. As always, we welcome your suggestions.
Australia’s super racist Immigration Minister, mouldy cabbage Peter Dutton, has a long documented history of gross racism. There’s the time he laughed about people in the Pacific losing their homes due to rising sea levels, literally everything he’s ever said about refugees ever, and, this week, he was pretty offensive to Lebanese Australians. Please read on for details and action points.
Let’s talk about the dead cats that Peter Dutton has been swinging; a form of politics that we as Australians should understand, because it’s how this election will go down.
Also remember you have until 8pm/2000 TODAY, Monday 23 May, to be enrolled or you can’t vote this election! Not sure if this is AEST or AWST, but WHY WAIT?! AEC Website now please and thank you. Then come back here for dead cat swinging.
Last night on the nation’s nightmare, Q and A, Kelly O’Dwyer mentioned helping a small business buy a $6000 toaster. Which is just perfect, after Malcolm Turnbull suggesting parents loan their kids money to buy their first home (???!!) which is, obviously, very possible.
Anyway, here are some things No Award could buy with $6000 from the government:
Our hearts are heavy with grief and guilt for two people. Hodan, a Somali refugee, set herself alight on Nauru. She is 21. Omid, who self-immolated last week and later died, was 23. His family is being billed $17000 to fly his body to Iran.
Our Immigration Minister said this was the fault of activists and advocates encouraging refugees to self-harm, demonstrating a lack of self-awareness and empathy. The environments of despair created by Australia’s policies are, instead, the impetus for self-harm.
Don’t just sit there, mired in the knowledge that our country is deplorable and unforgiveable. If you can, come do some things.
Here is Monday! As is traditional, we are blearily facing the start of another week (unless you’re in Perth, and therefore celebrating a public holiday), and tonight when you check twitter you will, if you’re Steph, remember with despair that it’s #qanda day and you’ll go to bed early.
To make it worse, we bring you this week in what has your government done to you: mardi gras edition (not all acts are related to mardi gras obvs).
Ms Mariah Carey has been dating a man who is beneath her for some time now. (Not for the first time! Probs not for the last! Spoilers: most men are unworthy of Mariah.)
Last week No Award encountered the rumour that she had left her own place to move into his subpar mansion. Although Mariah has since denied these claims, it took us to a great place: the idea of Mariah moving into the Lodge.
Blah blah no Tony blah blah.
In all practical terms, this isn’t much of a change. Turnbull may believe in climate change and marriage equality, but there’s no sign he’s actually going to pursue any changes to Liberal policies there. In his first press conference this morning, he declared his commitment to mandatory detention for asylum seekers, so the change of prime minister just puts a new face on the same old human rights violations.
LUCKILY, Australians are good at finding the lighter side of a political backstabbing, and many memes and lols were had. No Award brings you some bits they most enjoyed/most noted. Mostly memes and hilarious rants.
Friend of No Award Ashleigh would like it noted:
Please document my very strong feelings about not giving a fuck about how this might make it harder for labor to win because stacking the deck for the future isn’t a valid argument to let someone fuck everything up for another year
No Award in fact had already adopted this exact sentiment as official No Award policy.
The politician Steph aspires to be, Penny Wong (queer, Malaysian-Chinese, left, yells in public) cuts Joe Hockey so decisively.
The Coalition party room voted not to allow a conscience vote on same-sex marriage. Tony Abbott has suggested it be put to a popular vote, or maybe a referendum, or maybe a plebiscite, terrifyingly demonstrating that some of our federal politicians don’t understand how our political system actually works.
Liberal Senator Eric Abetz suggested that because Dolce and Gabbana had never married, same-sex couples had no need of marriage.
The Prime Minister caught eating a whole raw spring onion whilst on site.
Liz asks: Is it possible that Tony Abbott just likes onions? Is that a bad thing? Should we as a nation be food shaming him for his unusual tastes when there are so many other weird and terrible things he does? Is it just that it’s quite funny to watch someone eat a whole raw onion, French or otherwise?
An Asylum seeker who is married to an Australian PR was removed from her husband (and the centre in Brisbane where she was living, and the school where she was studying to receive her HSC) and is currently in a Darwin detention centre.
The state of Victoria’s new government logo looks like a map of Tasmania. In every possible sense.
While the eyes of the world are on Ferguson, a Queensland police whistleblower who leaked a video of fellow officers assaulting a chef faces charges. This forms part of a pattern of the Queensland police failing to investigate accusations of brutality from within its own ranks.
“Absolute revhead” and indistinguishable white man Tony Smith becomes Speaker.
Steph says: I know how white person names work. This man has a fake name.
Someone suggested that Indigenous Australians were making booze out of vegemite and so vegemite should be banned in remote Indigenous communities. Vegemite watch began, but has since been retracted.
Steph says: no. Also call them Daesh, cos it makes ISIS mad to be delegitimised in this way and cos actual Middle-Eastern people have suggested we do so – the Western media is the only media who calls them ISIS.
— Liz Barr (@_lizbarr) August 12, 2015