thoughts on the first morning of the lunar new year

On February 19, 2015February 19, 2015 By StephanieIn Uncategorized

My fingernails are too long, but I am bound by the moon and some hours too late; now I must put up with these claws until Saturday.
The cat has covered the floor in fur; I hope the Kitchen God doesn’t drop by. Can one stuff his mouth with sticky sweets every day of the year, just in case? Surely someone has tried this.

Did I eat enough noodles?

More importantly, my mother is a goat. Did she eat enough noodles?

What the world really needs is a series of quirky lunar new year movies to watch every year. Two of them should star Gong Li, and one of them should be set in Australia and feature Joan Chen.
sr-joan
Will Lee Lin Chin be dressed to theme? I love her.

Why don’t I own any work appropriate red dresses? This is unacceptable.

Dumplings for lunch. It’s traditional.

there’s a linkspam in my soul

On February 12, 2015 By StephanieIn links5 Comments

A little bit magical negro, but really interesting: How the Peanuts Comic Strip Got Its First Black Character.

About Lentil As Anything, the pay as you feel chain, and how people are cheap. Stephanie adds: contact me privately for LAA gossip, which we shan’t publish cos it’s gossip from ex-employees of LAA.

We’re mad that this isn’t a No Award post: Buzzfeed goes to Canberra.

Regarding Side-Eye, at The Lifted Brow. No Award acknowledges that this is an excellent response to being called out on a thing, and that The Lifted Brow is choosing not to make money on a word that has come to English from AAVE is great. And this has led us to asking questions about the USAmericanisation of language. Stand by for later, I guess.

Relatedly, as Australians we might not know this term, and I think it’s one we need to know: Strange Fruit. You might know it as a Billie Holliday song, or a song that your favourite band covers. Do you know what that strange fruit is? Have you ever thought about they lyrics? Steph didn’t, until recently. It’s African-Americans having been lynched. They are hanging off trees. It’s a song and poem about lynchings, and racism. Dead African-Americans are the strange fruit. Which is why it’s amazing that a bar (in the USA) named a cocktail Strange Fruit.

Speaking of: Why NBC didn’t need to make The Slap. This article veers a bit into the ‘woooo Aussie tv is so diverse’ territory, which obviously is untrue. It makes some great points about US tv, too. And also I would suggest she’s slightly incorrect: it’s not that US tv refuses to air non-US English programs; it just won’t air the ones set now. It will air the period dramas.

Somewhere in Sydney lie the remains of a man many South Africans regard with the same kind of reverence as Nelson Mandela.

SURPRISE: Spike in number of fatalities from shark attacks could be related to human population increase.

US thinktank asks if TAbbott is the most incompetent leader of an industrialised nation. Click through to the original piece as well, the comments are hilarious.

Sorry more US stuff, which defeats the purpose of NA’s purpose, but VERY IMPORTANT because we suffer this stuff in Australia, too: #chapelhillshooting. A white atheist fanatic shot three Muslim people. Reporting has been pretty terrible, all ‘a white man’ and ‘their religion may have had something to do with it.’ REALLY? Some media outlets are reporting it as ‘a parking dispute’, which is one way to refer to it when you can’t bring yourself to understand reality. The most common type of American Terrorist is a white man with a weapon and a grudge.

Bill Shorten spoke about Closing the Gap, and several Coalition MPs walked out in response. More thoughts at the Hoopla.

FOUR SPICE GIRLS SONGS YOU MAY NOT HAVE EVER HEARD?! !!!!

none for you, bespoiled whore

On February 9, 2015February 9, 2015 By StephanieIn art1 Comment

Here at No Award, we like to know our readers are looking their best. And so, No Award is very pleased to present to you a Wedding Etiquette post, thanks to Friend and Official Calligrapher of No Award, Moya, with assistance from Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette, 1952. We do it all for you.

On declining attendance after acceptance:

You certainly may not back out of an accepted invitation because a more attractive one has arrived. Illness, death in the family, or a sudden business trip are acceptable excuses. If you receive an invitation to the White House for the same date as that of a formal wedding invitation you have
already accepted the White House invitation takes precedence over a social one. A regret, following a previous acceptance, may take this form:

Mr. and Mrs. Morrow Truitt
regret that the sudden illness
of Mrs. Truitt
prevents their attending
the wedding on
Friday, the ninth of June

If the regret is occasioned by a summons to the White House, the second and third lines read:

regret that an invitation to
The White House
etc.

On veils (Moya says: This just makes me want to go around putting veils on everyone ever. YOU DON’T GET TO DENY VEILS TO PEOPLE, AMY VANDERBILT):

The bride who has been married before never wears a wedding veil nor does she wear white. Otherwise she dresses for the time of day and the degree of formality her wedding calls for and wears a corsage. Her head covering is either a small hat or a flower arrangement. It is only the bride’s
previous status that determines whether or not she may wear a wedding veil.

On the role of the best man (This makes Steph assume rape and forced marriage, so that’s nice):

The best man has always had an important role in all
weddings. In ancient times, when marriage was by seizure of some girl out-side the tribe, the best man was chosen for his brawn and bravery, as he was needed to fend off the bride’s male relatives and, later, to prevent the bride’s escape from the groom.

The best man takes the groom ‘firmly in hand’, aka, Shipping It:

The best man is adviser, messenger, valet, secretary, and general factotum to the groom. He takes him firmly in hand from the very start of preparations for the wedding, seeing to it that he is fitted for his wedding clothes, if new ones are to be made for him or if they are to be rented that he has
the ties and gloves for the ushers, that he confers with the bride on the needed flowers for ushers and for her bouquet and his boutonniere…

I don’t even know what this is (Moya says: I assume this is to make sure the guests don’t escape. TIE THOSE PEWS TOGETHER, BOYS, THE MOTHER-IN-LAW IS A FLIGHTY ONE):

After the bride’s mother is seated and the canvas, if there is one, is down two designated ushers, starting with their left feet first, walk together up the aisle to the last reserved pews where white satin ribbons have been carefully folded and laid alongside of the decorated aisle posts. They pick
up the entire bundle and, again in step, walk the length of the pews, as rehearsed, drawing the ribbons behind the aisle posts in a straight line, placing the loop at the end of each ribbon over the last aisle post.

On poor silly mens:

Ushers, as members of the wedding party, always give gifts to the bride, individually, before the wedding or together give the couple some major gift from them all, with contributions to the fund tactfully geared to the circumstances of the least affluent usher. A silver tea tray, a chair, or coffee table things the new household needs are appropriate and better than separate gifts from each usher, as men are usually greatly befuddled as to what constitutes a suitable wedding gift. They are often visibly relieved if the bride, when asked, has a concrete suggestion along these lines.

On the modern bridal gift:

On or just before her wedding day the bride receives some personal gift from the groom usually something to wear. Loveliest is a string of pearls, but the modern bride if her husband can afford it may think in terms of a mink coat or her own roadster.

Moya’s official stance on wedding etiquette:

Modern brides have the obligation to do precisely zero of these things, although I am all in favour of hitting up anyone available to give you a roadster as a wedding present. But not a mink coat, unless it’s artificial. (Seriously, go for the roadster).

(And do what makes you happy, especially if that involves wearing forty-seven veils at your third wedding. Veils are great and the judgemental ghost of Amy Vanderbilt will be a feature attraction for your guests.)

No Award end note: Moya is available for calligraphy for weddings and parties, and her nib collection is excellent.

tips for time travelling on the cheap

On February 6, 2015 By StephanieIn lists in all caps, science!15 Comments

Tips for Time Travelling on the Cheap

Don’t travel through time.

Notable travellers through time who ruined it for someone and definitely don’t deserve that power:

Marty McFly and Doc Brown
Doctor Who
The crew of the Enterprise. Every crew
Hermione Granger
The crew of the Enterprise-E
The Terminator
Cameron (unknown model of Terminator)
Bill and Ted
Austin Powers
The Time Traveller

Notable travellers through time who didn’t ruin it for anyone:

Maybe Martha Jones
Scrooge, in the company of Gonzo and Rizzo and a few creepy ghosts, but only because that wasn’t time travel, that was a strong cheese before dinner and some Muppets

Things that get ruined by time travel:

EVERY THING
TIME AND SPACE
PHYSICS
Come on these all caps are intentional
STEPH’S BRAIN
IF YOU GO BACK IN TIME AND TEAR THAT DRESS WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS
If you go back in time and condescend to a lady, who knows want misandry or misanthropy you encourage
ALL THINGS
You can’t trust people not to ruin things
Look at how the Doctor is all benevolent and STILL RUINS THINGS
I can’t even

DO NOT LET THESE PEOPLE NEAR YOUR PAST OR YOUR FUTURE

You may discontent in the comments, but please note that you are wrong. Time Travel is the worst.

Something something lyrics linkspam

On February 5, 2015February 6, 2015 By Liz BarrIn australia, conventions, fandom, gaming, links, politics, racism, transport4 Comments

What lies beneath: Sydney gets the southern hemisphere’s first body farm Australia

We Need To Talk About Fairy Bread – Please note that Stephanie has chosen to take “you can’t gentrify fairy bread” as a challenge. But also, what counts as gentrification? As a lower-middle-class person from Perth’s dodgy suburbs, is it gentrification if I take my favourite childhood snack and change it up?

The Future’s Been Here Since 1939: Female Fans, Cosplay and Conventions

Favourite pieces from this weeks’ AusPol: Abbott coins “doing an Abbott” to mean making a mistake; on the impacts of Sir Prince Phillip; on Adam Giles and the NT.

New site Future Black, decolonising design in Australia’s built environment.

One for stationery nerds and people with Khe Sanh earworms: The illustrious history of the yellow legal pad

The article title is misleading, but about how talk of Polyamory is white, when Polyamory isn’t. (Surpriiiise)

MAPS of the countries most vulnerable to climate change.

Notes on the Melbourne Free Trams. We were just going to link this with no commentary, but it turns out Steph has some feelings. The entirety of the City of Perth is a Free Transit Zone (FTZ, for those from Perth), and it a) takes in a huge chunk of the tourist attractions, and b) is used a lot by workers who drive to work, and then would ordinarily take taxis or cars between meetings at different ends of the CBD. The FTZ and the ubiquity of the buses, as well as the existence of the Cats (buses that exist solely to do laps of different sections of the CBD), means they do get used. And don’t end up with the overcrowding issue that Melbourne’s CBD trams were already experiencing. I don’t have a solution, I’m just saying.

Attitude round-up

Last year, the ABC axed RampUp, its excellent site for discussion around disability. A short time later, comedian/writer/disability advocate/all around hero Stella Young passed away.

That quote, ‘the only disability in life is a bad attitude’, the reason that’s bullshit is … No amount of smiling at a flight of stairs has ever made it turn into a ramp. No amount of standing in the middle of a bookshelf and radiating a positive attitude is going to turn all those books into braille. – Stella Young

Now, the ABC is airing New Zealand show Attitude, a series of short documentaries about people with disabilities. There is also also a crowdfunding project for an Australian version.

Unfortunately, Attitude doesn’t seem interested in prioritising the experiences and views of people with disabilities. Here’s a round-up of posts about why it’s not great.

The problem with ABC’s new disability series, “Attitude”

Disability voices have to be heard to change attitudes

Disability media and Attitude TV — Carly Findlay discusses her hopes for the Australian version

Attitude series and the power and responsibility of portraying disability on mainstream TV

More favourable:

Graeme Innes, formerly Australia’s Disability Discrimination Commissioner, writes in favour of Attitude.

I respect Innes a lot, but I strongly resent that Attitude seems to be entirely aimed at an able-bodied audience.

A different kind of attitude

(note: this post talks a lot about the so-called third world, and basically trades disability inspiration porn for poverty inspiration porn)

For my part, the whole concept of “attitude” is fraught. My rheumatologist constantly praises me for improving my chronic conditions by having a good attitude, and it makes me quite uncomfortable. It’s easy to exercise and practice self-care when you have a full-time job, a functional bike and access to an affordable public swimming pool.

And it’s distressing to realise that you’re being classified as a Good Patient just because you have these advantages — while, for example, your mother is classified as a Bad Patient because she has no energy to exercise, no access to a pool, and the public rheumatologist who sees her intermittently assumed she was an alcoholic. (She’s a teetotaller.)

And I don’t even have that great an attitude. “Yes, I have multiple chronic illnesses. It’s very dull. Let’s get on with it.” That’s me on a good day. In a bad week, I can and will bore everyone I know with my incessant complaints about being in pain — but my rheumatologist doesn’t see that.

Adam Baldwin/Supanova/GamerGate round-up

Adam Baldwin is an actor, best known for Firefly, who also holds some very conservative opinions, coined the term “GamerGate”, and facilitated the doxxing of game developer Zoe Quinn. Here’s a handy round-up of his behaviour.

Supanova is one of the very few pop culture expos in Australia. Adam Baldwin will be a guest at the Sydney and Perth events in June. Suffice to say, lots of people are unhappy about this. There is a petition to revoke his invitation. (You should sign it!)

People discussing the matter have been doxxed, abused, driven from their preferred social media platforms, and generally treated badly. (Liz got off lucky with some rather tedious mansplaining. Nice try, guys, but I work with lawyers.)

Supanova, meanwhile, has engaged in some epic fence-sitting, also some general rudeness, also tried to manipulate a feminist comedian into supporting them. (The original article, published in Fairfax’s Daily Life, has been removed; the link is to an archived version.)

A summary.

The thing is, this isn’t about Baldwin’s politics. Hell, Star Trek: Voyager‘s Roxanne Dawson quotes Bill O’Reilly on her Twitter, but I wouldn’t say she’d be an inappropriate guest at a nerd convention. It’s Baldwin’s behaviour, and that of the people he supports, that’s the problem here.

As a small, fat, feminine and female nerd, I would not feel safe at an event as attractive to misogynist bullies as Supanova with Baldwin as a guest. And I wouldn’t want to give money to a company that engineers that situation.

Baldwin himself is easy to ignore and avoid — I’ve attended a whole lot of Supanovas, and accidentally encountered a guest once. But the men he attracts? Most are just keyboard warriors, mired in self-hatred, lashing out at women to compensate for their problems. But as Brianna Wu’s experience would attest, some are dangerous. And Baldwin feeds them. That’s why I don’t want Adam Baldwin to be a paid guest at Supanova.

#ride the night

On February 2, 2015February 3, 2015 By StephanieIn environmental stuff

HAVE A POST ABOUT A MELBOURNE EVENT.

In the wee hours of Sunday morning, I rode in Melbourne’s inaugural Ride the Night. It was a midnight to dawn ride through Melbourne, raising money for YSAS (Youth Support and Advocacy Service), based in St Kilda.

Midnight to dawn is a bit of a misnomer, I suppose. With 2800 riders, we were let off in waves, and my posse of Beth, Danni and myself found ourselves in the last wave, heading out closer to 0100. We zoomed for a bit, only to be stuck in a queue at the lights as we came out of Birdwood Avenue and attempted to move from Domain Avenue and onto Albert Road. Despite having 2800 riders, we didn’t attempt critical mass, and so we waited to move 2800 riders through a normally operating set of traffic lights.

Anyway, aside from the rain, that we were suffering congestion and bottlenecks is really my biggest logistical issue. And I acknowledge that the rain was no-one’s fault! I had a very excellent ride, even in the rain, and it was the longest I’ve ever done in one go. I feel like I learnt things about myself as a rider in inclement weather, and it was awesome cycling areas I’m unfamiliar with. Thank you to Bicycle Network Victoria for putting it on.

On a personal level, I can’t read inspirational maps. The RTN map was such, illustrated with some animals for the zoo and the wheel for Southbank. But I struggle to read and remember them. For someone whose greatest skill is ‘ability to navigate streets I haven’t seen in a decade, since I was 8,’ that’s a big issue.

ride the night map of no sense for stephanies

Certainly it explains how I ended up doing the Western Loop, heading towards the end, with no idea how it had happened. I was redirected onto La Trobe Street from Swanston as I headed for the Northern Loop. I thought, oh, damn this map, we must go up Elizabeth or Queen. But there were no people, and no signs to indicate a turn. And always, in the distance, I could see a flash of red, a bike light.

Long story short, I ended up riding by myself through the horror movie wasteland that is Port Melbourne at night, so of course I didn’t stop my bike to check gmaps, so the best I knew of it was when I arrived at rest stop G and they yelled ‘hooray you’re at the last rest stop before the end!’ And for me, personally, what would have solved this was a proper map, with street names and landmarks and stuff. You know. Like a proper map. It could have been a mud map, that would have been fine. I know it would have been big. Maybe this could have been solved by downloading the app but I’m running out of space on my phone.

My biggest actual complaint is the detritus. Before the event, Danni and Beth were very eager to get glow sticks, until I told them why I wouldn’t be using them:

Due to the chemicals inside them, though they’re made of plastic they’re single use and can’t be recycled.
The chemicals inside them are not very nice for the Bay.
We live on the Bay.
Litter. What if we lose them?

Then I picked up our rider packs, and there were half a dozen cheap glow sticks in each of them. I know they were cheap, because between the three of us we ended up with at least two glow sticks that failed to glow. I caved to puppy eyes at this point, because since we had been given them by RTN and BNV, I conceded we could use them. We secured them with cable ties.

There was no real fear of my being lost after I lost my crew, as the entire ride was littered with the detritus of our ride. Riding so quickly, and in the rain, meant no one was really given the chance for littering other things, but the glow sticks – oh, the glow sticks. I reached a point on my ride, when the rain was heavy and we were doing Beaconsfield Parade in St Kilda, when I seriously considered stopping riding RTN in order to simply start picking up glow sticks. I was so angry, and I still am. My daily commute includes Napier Street, which was part of the ride, and even though it was over halfway through the ride, this location, this morning on my ride I still spotted several lost, lonely glow sticks lying on the road.

REMINDER: There is nothing between storm water drains and the Bay. When something goes into those drains on the road, you know the ones, that’s it. They go straight into the Bay, no filtering or whatever. So many people assume there’s filters. There’s not.

I’m really disappointed that we were encouraged to use a thing that’s so environmentally unfriendly and is so easy to litter without even noticing.

However I did have a really great time and I look forward to future Ride the Nights. And thanks so much to my donors.

My recommendations for future Ride the Nights:

Different start points or scheduled start times. Especially with the rain, waiting in a queue for 45 minutes before we started cycling, and then getting stuck in traffic at 0100, made the experience unpleasant before it could even begin.
A proper map.
Road blocks or traffic control as an extension of this management.
No glow sticks. Use that money on reflective face paint, or another light, or something less damaging and encouraging of poor habits.
Clearer signage.
Delicious vegan breakfast options.

Danni has also written about Ride the Night.

Linkspam with you in the comfort of a lounge room in suburbia

On January 29, 2015 By Liz BarrIn australia, linguistics, links, politics

The Vine counts down ways women ruin everything. With bonus puppies!

Peta Credlin has become a lightning-rod for discontent driven by fear

We at No Award are quite intrigued by the fact that, when Julia Gillard was an unpopular prime minister with a tough, unpopular male chief of staff, she was demonised, whereas Tony Abbott is an unpopular prime minister with a tough, unpopular female chief of staff … once again the woman is demonised.

[Disclaimer: If the current Australian government was the subject of a satirical ABC comedy in the style of The Thick of It — and how we wish that were true — Peta Credlin would be Liz’s problematic fave. She’s not quite Malcolm Tucker in a skirt, but only because she’s not famous for creative swearing.]

Skills shortage for Auslan interpreters

Melbourne Nylex clock turns on, makes mysterious return to life

Nylex Clock/Skipping Girl Sign OTP, y/y?

A Meat Processing Professional Reviews Snowpiercer

Paying to Work: The Perth Film Network and The Action Film Plan

The Perth Film Network’s latest venture, called “The Action Film Project,” is what appears to be either a particularly exploitative form of crowd-funding, or an unethical business scheme masquerading as a golden opportunity for aspiring filmmakers.

Satire and Scandal: Revisiting Frontline

Interesting long reads

Cicada: Solving the Web’s Deepest Mystery

Or, an episode of Elementary and an amazing premise for a YA novel in one! Link nicked from Natalie Luhrs of Pretty Terrible, but shared here again because it is AMAZING.

Can the Next Generation of Morticians Breathe Life Into the Death Industry?

Welcome to a Liquid Modern Queensland & Why Tony Fitzgerald’s in Despair

A dense but rewarding discussion of corruption and neo-liberalism in Liz’s home state of Queensland.

And if it’s not region-locked for you, Liz totally recommends Chris Marsters’ The Moonlight State, the 1987 Four Corners expose that helped bring down the Bjelke-Petersen government. It has some gratuitous strip club footage, but is brilliant and valuable nonetheless.

Why People Hate Tess Munster (And Other Happy Fat People)

services the australian antarctic division requires

On January 28, 2015January 28, 2015 By StephanieIn Uncategorized2 Comments

ALERT, ALERT, IMPORTANT NO AWARD ANNOUNCEMENT:

Applications for jobs in Antarctica for the Australian Division are now open!

OBVIOUSLY jobs such as electrical engineer, communications operator, and carpenter are all very important. Sadly, No Award is not qualified for any of those. (Frankly, it’s shocking that there’s no call for a Climate Change Adaptation Specialist, because Antarctica is going to need one of those eventually, and Stephanie is pretty ready for the job)

Other staff the Australian Antarctic Division should be looking for:

LAWYER. Responsibilities: For when someone starts killing everyone one by one. Someone. Or something. Occupational Health and Safety implications of serial killer on remote Antarctic base.

NEWS PROVIDER. Responsibilities: Min. 8hrs per day surfing internet & providing amusing and entertaining commentary on the state of the outside world. Remuneration: $101,406 p.a. plus allowances.

ARTWORK. Responsibilities: Lie around looking pretty; perfect eyebrow game; provide tutorials on the perfect wing eyeliner; occasionally frown disdainfully at crew members who get too close. Remuneration: Lots of chocolate.

SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR, OFFICIAL FANDOM LIAISON, MEME DISTRIBUTOR. Responsibilities: Grow social media presence through lulz, beta-read other team members’ fic, ensure memes are up-to-date. Check for important show downloads.

INVESTIGATOR. Responsibilities: Willing to go through the door everyone knows the inevitable serial killer on the team is hiding behind, fills out all forms in triplicate, willing to work with and/or against law enforcement, depending on what side of the blood bath they fall.

LAW ENFORCEMENT OF SOME KIND. Please bring guns and knives.

PENGUIN WRANGLER. Responsibilities: Cuddling penguins.

CALLIGRAPHER. Responsibilities: Spend all day making a large and artsy mess, producing very little. Occasionally bounce out of studio to show off something shiny and gold or to ramble about nibs. Remuneration: art supplies to the value of your salary; food.

EATING MODEL. Responsibilities: Demonstrate a healthy and willing appetite for any food cooked by the chef, to discourage grumbling among the rest of the crew. Eat ALL the things. Remuneration: occasional sneaky Haighs drop.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT. Responsibilities: Sort out everyone’s paperwork. Keep offices neat and tidy. Make sure things happen when and where they’re supposed to happen. Appear invisible. Remuneration: more than literally anyone else on the station, who can survive without proper admin?

KNITTER. Responsibilities: Knitting hilars clothes and accessories on request.

People at least as deserving of knighthoods as Prince Philip

On January 27, 2015January 28, 2015 By Liz BarrIn australia7 Comments

On Monday, Invasion Day (though you may know it as Australia Day), we woke to the news that Prime Minister Tony Abbott had looked at all the Australians deserving of recognition for their achievements and contributions to the nation … and bestowed a knighthood on Prince Philip, a one-man-argument for a republic.

Liz said, “Huh.” Then she had breakfast and a cup of tea and checked again, and it was still not a joke.

What’s beautiful about Abbott’s choice is how Australians from all walks of life, across the spectrum of political beliefs and personal backgrounds, have come together to say as one: “What?” And on such a divisive and fraught day as the anniversary of the European invasion and commencement of attempted genocide, that is a great thing. Deserving, you might even say, of a knighthood.

On the other hand, it’s a bit of a joke, right?

Accordingly, No Award brings you a short list of people at least as deserving of knighthoods as Sir Mr The Queen:

Loki of Asgard
Mallory Ortberg
Fire Lord Ozai
Liz’s cat
~~President Andrew Jackson~~ retracted, on the grounds of indigenous genocide
the Sydney seal
any of the multiple lifesized fibreglass seals we saw in Geelong over the weekend
a bird
any bird
but maybe especially an emu
Roxane Gay
First Dog on the Moon
the Newcastle shark
the semi-colon
BLÅHAJ
That street musician who wore the penguin suit
Taylor Swift
your mum
Laverne Cox
The entire cast of Orange is the New Black
Even Taylor Schilling, I guess
Clive Palmer’s dinosaurs
the raptors in Jurassic Park
the ceiling whales at the QLD Museum
Ruth Brown for getting the word “seppos” into an American paper

Bucky Barnes
The Triple J Hottest 100
The East-West Link
A flat white from Starbucks
Tatiana Maslany
Spoilers: everyone on this list is played by Tatiana Maslany
Weaves’s barista
Weaves’s other barista who she goes to when she think the first one will judge her
The 7-11 guy who doesn’t judge Weaves’s caffeine intake
The Oxford comma
The current North American blizzard
Iggy Azalea
Todd Woodbridge’s Australian Open ad on the trams
Microsoft Word
Our bosses
Queen Victoria’s Geelong marble statues
Tony Abbot’s daughters for the saintly way in which they have not murdered him yet
Tony Abbott’s wife, same reason
Tony Abbott’s queer sister, who has somehow never committed fratricide
The ghost of Queen Victoria
Can you give a queen a knighthood?
Queen Sir Victoria
Sir Queen Victoria?
I’m into it
Ghost Sir Queen Statue Victoria

A statue of Queen Victoria with helmet and plume added in Paint. — No Award Friend @baggers made this for us!

That guy who always phones outside office hours and leaves long voicemails whinging about how there’s never anyone around
The Eastern Regional Library Service (and its amazing ebook collection)
The KFC Double Down Dog
The Jimmy Choo ads with John Snow lounging on them on the back of Telstra public pay phones
Telstra public pay phones
Telstra public pay phones with Wi-Fi
Julia Gillard
Centrelink
Lee Lin Chin
Lee Lin Chin’s Twitter account
Brenda the Civil Disobedience Penguin
Medicare

People even less deserving of knighthoods than Prince Philip

#gamergate

intersectional is more than a three-letter country

On January 27, 2015January 11, 2016 By StephanieIn meta, racism15 Comments

As Australians, as non-white people who aren’t from the USA, as activists, we have got to talk about the USA dominance of the internet, and our social justice conversations.

Over at North Coast Musings, there’s a quick snapshot of some of the terrible things that @ebswearspink, @stringstory and @upulie had to deal with over the weekend, some of it from African American activists, including claims that Indigenous Australians only have a voice because of African American culture.

Which

NOPE

NOPE.

Many years ago, darling wonderful Chally wrote Dear USians on the Internet (yes, it’s on Feministe), about US centricity in social justice and how problematic is. Literally the first comment is a complaint about this letter!

Because we can’t ever have social justice that isn’t informed by the USA, I guess.

The thing is this:

Our Australian injustices cannot be righted through a paradigm that fits the USA.

The injustices that plague the USA do not necessarily translate outside of the USA.

We can exchange thoughts and techniques but we cannot

we cannot

match perfectly, or even imperfectly.

Liz has her own reasons for being my partner in yelling here on No Award, but this was my moment:

An act called the Jackson Jive performed on Hey Hey It’s Saturday. They performed in blackface, and it was bullshit. There was debate whether it was intentionally racist or just clueless, and one theory was from the name: that their name was ‘Jackson Jive’, it was postulated, was an intentional reference to shucking and jiving, an element of minstrelsy, and therefore intentionally racist. I was decried by a USAmerican person when I pointed out our history of blackface didn’t include quite so much minstrelsy, and the shucking and jiving thing isn’t as known here. Australia’s Blak history is different from any other country’s. Just like our experiences of colonialism, racism, and imperialism are different.

[Liz notes: Minstrelsy in Australia started out with US minstrel acts touring Australia, and then Australian performers began to mimic them. I could make a remark about Iggy Azalea, but I haven’t had nearly enough tea.]

[Liz’s moment was the controversy about the KFC ad in which a lone Australian white guy finds himself surrounded by Indians at the cricket, and makes friends by sharing his KFC. Racist in the sense of playing on fears of brown people? Yes, although obviously there is also the fear of being surrounded by supporters of a rival team. Playing into stereotypes about African Americans and fried chicken? Uh, no.]

But apparently we can’t have racial experiences that are different from those experienced in the USA.

To make something about someone else’s racial history is to ignore our own very real issues, and means the discussions we have are limited and restricted. If I’m going to educate anybody, it’s going to be the people in communities here in Australia. We shouldn’t need to expend our energy fighting those who are supposed to be our community, our allies in oppression, whose experiences are similar but not the same.

Indigenous Australians may be light-skinned, and if they are it is often a product of the imperialism and genocide of our Australian history. But sure, let’s call an Indigenous Australian white, like that’s not loaded, like A.O. Neville, “Protector of Aborigines” from 1936 – 1940, didn’t endorse “biological absorption” of Aboriginal Australians, like we don’t have the Stolen Generation.

And we know light-skinned privilege exists, I live it (as a light-skinned Azn), but ugh, gross. Gross. The entire concept of “white passing” is dangerous and hurtful in the context of Indigenous Australians. That’s what the whole Eatock v Bolt case was about.

This is not to deny that often the language and work done by USAcentric and USA-based activists doesn’t assist us in our work and in our activism and in our fights. There are lots of great USA-based voices that help out. But that doesn’t mean their concepts are universally applicable.

When our language is different from theirs and they yell at us for it, don’t lose hope.

And when our frame of reference is different from theirs and they call us wrong, and racist, and too white, yell back.

Come here to No Award, if you have to. I will always yell with you.

Maybe what we need is a primer for well-meaning USAmericans. It’ll be about Indigenous Australians being classed as fauna, The White Australia Policy, slavery in Queensland, and I’m tired just thinking about it. Bags not me.

Here read some things: Luke Pearson on ‘When It’s OK to be ‘Part Aboriginal‘; Defining Aboriginality in Australia; Anita Heiss’ book Am I Black Enough For You? (If African-American – and other POC – people knew they were doing what Andrew Bolt has done to Indigenous Australians, would that disgust them? I hope so.)

And on the Invasion Day weekend! Ugh.