terrible ways to start a relationship

Inspired by the full-body shudder felt by the entire nation, where a man took a photo of a woman in Woolies and then tried to crowd source finding her, including asking Woolies, cos she was the love of his life (HELP), No Award brings you terrible ways to start a relationship.

  • Asking the Woolies Facebook page
  • Following her home from the tram after dark yelling, hey pretty lady
  • Sending an all-staff email at your 700 person organisation
  • Posting a message in the back of Mx
  • Being an undercover Animal Rights Activist for 20 years and definitely not supposed to start shagging the person you’re spying on
  • Putting a note in the body of an email when you’re about to pay an invoice from a contractor or casual employee


  • Being an FBI agent when she’s your KGB informant and also you’ve killed her BFF because you had some patriotic manpain
  • Asking someone out at the conclusion of a job interview
  • Asking someone out via anonymous Tumblr fan mail
  • Or via the tags in a reblog of a Tumblr post
  • Or just dropping vague hints via Tumblr
  • Advertising in Craigslist
  • Creating a website about a girl you saw on the train and have never actually spoken to (bonus points, however, for being decent enough to draw a picture of the girl instead of taking a creepy photo and putting it online)
  • Following her around the shops, staying in her blind spot, until she freaks out and goes to the police
  • Meeting someone at a B&S ball