First Term at Malory Towers – Chapters 15 and 16

On August 6, 2015 By Liz BarrIn books, enid blyton2 Comments

(Note: we’ve done some redecorating! But there is a certain amount of housekeeping that needs to happen with our header, what with it being too large, and also Official No Award Calligrapher Moya has forbidden us to use one of those fonts. Stay tuned.)

Back in the day, before I realised that blogging with Stephanie is more fun, I had a series of posts about Enid Blyton’s Malory Towers books on my personal blog. Specifically, I was reading a chapter or two at a time and offering a running commentary with snark, illustrations, random anecdotes from my childhood, and whatnot.

That was 2012. I don’t know why I stopped, except that I was busy, and there was a lot of typing involved, and probably something shiny came along and distracted me. But I bought the modern (electronic) editions of the books yesterday, and fell madly in love all over again. Yes, the brown-and-orange uniforms called me back once more.

Accordingly, I’ve imported the original posts over to No Award (that’s totally a thing you can do, thanks, WordPress!), and I’m going to continue here.

(Importing old entries means we’re in the odd situation of having content that predates the existence of this blog. No Award’s second birthday was last weekend, by the way. We should have vegan, gluten-free cake to celebrate.)

And first, let me say, these new editions are weird. There’s no more talk of slapping people, not even jokes. Instead of giving Gwendoline four sharp slaps for her cruelty towards Mary-Lou, Darrell gives her “a rough shake”. I’m not sure how inflicting brain damage is supposed to be an improvement, except that it’s probably harder for small humans to cause any damage when they engage in imitative behaviour.

Additionally, someone has done a search and replace, substituting “strange” for “queer” throughout. Which is fair enough, shifts in meaning and all, but I feel like something important has been stolen from, like, two-thirds of the queer people I know.

(I know, I know, it’s not as if they’ve rounded up all the old editions and set fire to them. I might start nosing around secondhand stores for old copies, though, just for comparison/completion purposes.)

Continue reading “First Term at Malory Towers – Chapters 15 and 16” →

the last plane out of linkspam

On August 5, 2015 By StephanieIn links

This post has been sitting in our drafts since before Aussie Spec Fic Week, so bear with us if some of these links are a bit out of date.

The six problems ruining Melbourne’s rail network.

~~Last week~~ the other week Steph went to the White Rabbit Gallery in Sydney (in Chippendale!) and it was great! Modern Chinese art, yes, thank you. ~~And on 30 July they close the current exhibition to bump in the new one so GO TODAY. The current exhibition is heaps of fun.~~ Sorry, sorry.

Aboriginal mothers kept in jail “for their own safety”, family violence hearing told. Love a system where being victims of DV means being jailed. Awesome. Good times. Definitely post-racial.

Are you a girl under 18 who wants to write crime fiction? There’s dollars available for you for that.

Grill’d is totally paying staff under Award and that is bull. But since we started this post, they’ve been forced to increase wages and reinstate the fired worker who drew attention to them.

How ‘Privilege’ Became a Provocation. NYT.

Steph is SO EXCITED about Jane Rawson’s new book ‘The Handbook: Surviving and Living with Climate Change’. She’s also very jealous that she didn’t write it, but we all have our climate change burdens to bear. Here is a blog post in relation to it.

Ghost bikes.

This story about killer seagulls justifies everything Liz believes about birds. Also, don’t feed wild birds, and don’t go on a spree of revenge bird killings, that’s just terrible. Anyway, birds will win that war.

Octopus Wrestling and the Cephalopod Uprising. No Award does not approve of this article’s strong anti-cephalopod bias, not to mention what passes for journalism at Vice, but there are some interesting cephalopod facts in there.

Britain’s Secret Ghost Trains – restless infrastructure from beyond the grave!

Underneath the ‘Orientalist’ Kimono – a brief look at the issues that arise when Asians living in western countries consider something — in this case, white people trying on a kimono — racist, while Japanese people regard it as a positive sign for the future of their culture. Intersectionalism is complicated!

Melbourne Aquarium conducts an underwater census. Warning: PUNS.

Pictures of 19th century Sydney show that it was totally a great place for women and ethnic minorities. We are linking to this for the pictures and the quotes from Josh Quong Tart, not the “cultural assimilation is the mark of a great immigrant” narrative. (Such narratives tend to overlook the fact that Quong Tart died of injuries sustained in what was almost certainly a racist assault.)

Steph is having a lot of feelings about this post at the Toast: Grief in the Diaspora.

anthologies in review

On August 4, 2015August 5, 2015 By StephanieIn books3 Comments

Steph loves anthologies; Liz is more ambivalent, being less of a fan of short stories.

(Liz clarifies: I just don’t enjoy anthologies. Too many stories in too short a space. I need to read them, like, three stories at a time, or else they become a blur.)

Steph is on her own as she reviews:

Dead Sea Fruit, Kaaron Warren (horror)
Eat the Sky, Drink the Moon, a whole awesome bunch of stories by Indian and Australian writers and illustrators
Phantazein, reworkings of fairy tales, yes excellent, from Fablecroft

Continue reading “anthologies in review” →

linkspam: extra special steph loves her football team edition

On July 30, 2015June 20, 2016 By StephanieIn australia, racism1 Comment

Adam Goodes’ Indigenous Allies Are Mad As Hell About The Way He Has Been Treated

Two West Coast supporters were evicted for racist behaviour and Goodes was continually booed throughout the match, prompting teammate Lewis Jetta to do an Aboriginal war dance after scoring a goal as a show of support for Goodes.

One of the ejected spectators yelled that Goodes should, “go back to the zoo.”

DAMN RIGHT THEY’RE MAD. WE SHOULD ALL BE MAD.

I laughed out loud at First Dog: Why do you boo Adam Goodes? Is it because … (a handy guide)

Adam Goodes ‘unAustralian’ says former Brisbane Roar goalkeeper

Former Brisbane Roar goalkeeper Griffin McMaster has weighed into the Adam Goodes racism controversy by suggesting the dual Brownlow medallist and former Australian of the Year should be deported.

I cry laughing every time I read this quote. Adam Goodes is an Indigenous Australian AFL player who was Australian of the Year. He is literally – like – there is no way to be more Australian in this country.

“Adam Goodes calls Australia Day invasion day,” McMaster wrote in a since-deleted tweet.

“Deport him.

“If you don’t like it leave.”

AN INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIAN AFL PLAYER WHO WAS AUSTRALIAN OF THE YEAR.

CANNOT

I’m probably actually going to be sick I’m so angry.

Booing Adam Goodes: are we even aware we’re racists? No, we’re dickheads.

I’d be happy to see every Indigenous player from now on perform the war dance every time they kick a goal. That would rub it in all our white faces until we truly got the message that you are part of this culture on your own terms and not on the terms that white society deems to be acceptable.

Richmond to wear Dreamtime AFL guernsey in support of Adam Goodes – yes, excellent, everyone do this.

We want to support Adam Goodes, who has been a wonderful ambassador for our game and his people.

White Australia is coming for you

Finally, in other non-racist news, Andrew Bolt has been busy posting clips of Martin Luther King speeches. He’s running a campaign against the ‘race war’ in the AFL, a war conducted, not by the booing fans, but by Adam Goodes, who seems to be singlehandedly oppressing all of Australia’s white football followers.

Yes, that’s right. You see, MLK had a dream that white children would, one day, be able to say whatever they damn well want – and that non-white people would sit there and take it.

Happily, here in Australia, that noble vision seems on the verge of coming true.

You can twitter around on #IStandWithAdam

Aussie spec fic for young readers: A Single Stone by Meg McKinlay

On July 30, 2015 By Liz BarrIn australia, books, media

Every girl dreams of being part of the line – the chosen seven who tunnel deep into the mountain to find the harvest. No work is more important.

Jena is the leader of the line – strong, respected, reliable. And – as all girls must be – she is small; years of training have seen to that. It is not always easy but it is the way of things. And so a girl must wrap her limbs, lie still, deny herself a second bowl of stew. Or a first.

But what happens when one tiny discovery makes Jena question everything she has ever known? What happens when moving a single stone changes everything?

A Single Stone is a deliciously claustrophobic piece of semi-dystopian body horror for middle grade readers, inspired by Kafka (because why not?) and The Silver Chair (because it is the best Narnian book FIGHT ME).

Continue reading “Aussie spec fic for young readers: A Single Stone by Meg McKinlay” →

aussie spec fic right there on my teevee*

On July 29, 2015July 29, 2015 By StephanieIn australia4 Comments

I know it’s hard to believe, but there’s some Aussie spec fic on teevee this year. I KNOW.

Airlock

Steph has seen episode 1 of this three part series. Episode 1 is available for free on youtube, and eps 2 + 3 can be purchased for five whole aussie dollars from the website. (Steph plans to do so shortly)

It was crowdfunded, and is some hard SF without actually spending too much money. There’s an isolated space station, a drifting spaceship, a bunch of refugees, a dead crew, and some fun special effects that I enjoyed mostly because they came with an Australian accent and some brown Australians.

Airlock stars an ex-classmate of Housemate of No Award Bella, Mark Coles Smith, also known around these parts as a very attractive young Indigenous Australian man. I’m not saying that should be part of your reasoning but it should definitely be part of your reasoning.

(Liz fell in love with Mark Coles Smith when she watched The Gods of Wheat Street, which is another piece of Aussie spec TV that everyone should watch — it’s a ghost story and family drama, and all the main characters are Indigenous, also it’s bloody good — and No Award endorses his cheekbones.)

Glitch

Our ABC has blessed us with Glitch, a series about zombies. No Award has not yet watched this series.

When Sergeant Hayes is called to the cemetery, he makes a startling discovery. Six people have inexplicably returned from the dead and are in perfect health. How is this possible? Who are they and why are they back?

Bless you, Our ABC. Glitch is available on iView and Steph will be watching this as soon as it’s all aired and she can mainline it.

The Kettering Incident

Not sure what this is about yet, but it’s a mystery series with “otherworldly overtones” and is “Tipped to be Australia’s Twin Peaks,” which sounds a) right up No Award’s alley and b) specifically relevant to Liz’s current interests, which include ‘mainlining the X-Files’ and ‘reading about murders.’ Also it’s set in Tasmania, which is the most traditionally gothic part of Australia.

(Sadly, this series will allegedly air on pay tv, which of course means it will subsequently be heavily illegally downloaded)

(Liz clarifies: reading about murders, not committing them. I just want to make that clear.)

*GET IT?!

In space, no one can hear you have manpain

On July 28, 2015 By Liz BarrIn media, movies, science fiction2 Comments

Infini was written and directed by an Australian, features an all-Australian cast, and was filmed in Australia. It should rocket straight to the top of the No Award List Of Things We Really Like.

If only that were true.

The all-Aussie cast are doing American accents — except one guy who I think is meant to be British, but he sounds like an American actor trying for Aussie — and it’s just a tedious fest of rehashed Star Trek plots mixed with manpain.

Now, I don’t mind a bit of rehashed Trek. Serve it up with some shiny low-budget effects and local accents, I’d have eaten it up with a spoon. (And then whinged here about the dude-heaviness of the whole thing, but that’s half the fun!) But setting it in the US is just … lazy. Everyone has seen this before. Why not change it up a bit? (Answer: the accountant was in charge.)

Similarly, the casting is just woefully dull. Of the fourteen cast members — that includes bit players — ten are men, and nine of those are white men. I’m not great at distinguishing faces, so I knew them as Lead Guy (aka The Dancing With The Stars Host), The Other Other Hemsworth (turns out there are three!), Beardy McBeardsalot (aka Guy From Animal Kingdom), REX MANNING (that was his character’s name — I could recognise him because people kept saying it in allcaps), Is He English Or What?, The One With Dark Hair, and The Rest.

(I should note that Kevin Copeland, The One Guy Who Isn’t White, is in fact American. He does a lot of Australian stuff, though. I totally forgot he wasn’t One Of Us.)

One of the film’s four women is a bit player. The remaining three are:

Lead Guy’s pregnant wife, who cries and makes him promise to come home, then cries a bit more;
Claire, the medic, who has Abortion Angst and a failed romance with … I think it was The One With Dark Hair;
Philippa, who is introduced like she’s a big deal — though not as big as REX MANNING, of course — but who doesn’t really get much to do.

If you’re keeping track, that’s two-thirds of the female characters having uterus-related character development. Infini

Claire is played by the beautiful and underrated Grace Huang, so that’s two non-white people in the cast. There’s a moment where, as she goes mad from PLOT REASONS and also Abortion Angst, she says goodbye to her mother in Mandarin, and that’s the closest we come to further character development for her.

Not that the men fare any better. These characters are strictly cardboard cut-outs. Lead Guy bonds with Is He English Or What? over fatherhood, and has high level manpain because What If He Dies? REX MANNING shouts and shoots things.

There’s quality dialogue like, “I’M TALKING TO MY FUCKING KIDS, MOTHERFUCKER!” The final act is basically just guys screaming at each other, while I texted Stephanie to ask if I had to keep watching. She said yes, which I’m pretty sure is a human rights violation.

Maybe Australian accents wouldn’t have saved this movie.

The highlight, for me, was the repeated shots of Sinister Wind Farms On An Alien Planet. A lot of the dialogue was mumbled, so I’m not sure why they were sinister, but there they were. Wind farming. Ominously. Maybe Going Crazy In An Isolated Facility On An Alien Planet is one of the symptoms of Wind Turbine Syndrome? I made a joke on Twitter about this being what it takes to get an arts grant these days, but it turns out Infini received no taxpayer funding. Thank heavens.

Oh, and the plot — a mining operation on a distant planet turns out to be digging up an alien life form, and it’s maaaaaaaaad. Star Trek did it with “The Devil in the Dark” (TOS) and “Home Soil” (TNG); Doctor Who did it with “42” and, like, every third Pertwee serial. This is entirely skippable.

Infini was released direct to iTunes and maybe other video on demand sources, who knows? Liz paid AU$6.99 to rent a HD copy of Infini from iTunes and kind of wants her money and her two hours back.

science fiction saves the future

On July 27, 2015July 27, 2015 By StephanieIn australia, conventions, science!1 Comment

Stephanie was invited to speak at the Speculative Fiction Festival at the New South Wales’ Writers’ Centre last week. It was curated by Cat Sparks, and it was excellent!

The blurb for Steph’s panel:

Can Science Fiction Save the Future? (11am-12am)

This panel examines science fiction as an agent of scientific and social change, serving as a cultural primer, preparing us for new inventions, moral arguments or major events, such as catastrophic destruction or the possibility of transhuman consciousness. Should SF shake us out of complacency regarding genuine threats to society, as well as inspiring compelling new possibilities?

Steph was on this panel with Joanne Anderton, Marianne de Pierres, Bruce McCabe, and Keith Stephenson.

Stephanie has so many feelings climate change and speculative fiction, news at eleven.

There was a feeling that spec fic isn’t for evangelising because the reader doesn’t want to be lectured at. But I disagree – science fiction is for evangelising. I write climate change fiction because I’m inspired in my day job, and I want everyone to know it and be converted.

Scientific accuracy is as important as being able to write well and to convey your meaning. If we’re to inspire, what’s the point in inspiring things that can’t scientifically happen because they defy physics? There’s an argument to be made for inspiring people to move beyond the known science but there’s only so far one can go with that. Don’t be suggesting our climate change future in Australia is going to be full of, like, coral and white people unless you can prove it.

Scientific accuracy is important in my own work, and preferably in the work of others. There’s no shame in throwing the book against the wall when the science is wrong. And half the fun is creating a fantastical world within scientific bounds.

But also: what’s the point in inspiring when you’re doing it on false pretenses?

But can’t you trust the reader to tell the difference between possible and impossible? Can’t you trust the reader?

https://twitter.com/enoughsnark/status/622218961304707072

Continue reading “science fiction saves the future” →

Australian Spec Fic Week

On July 27, 2015August 4, 2015 By StephanieIn australia1 Comment

It’s not official, it’s just here at No Award! This week No Award is going to talk EVERY DAMN DAY about spec fic.

Liz and Steph love spec fic, and we have a special place in our hearts and in our lives for Australian spec fic. And we could say there’s not enough of it (there isn’t), but what there is just isn’t talked about enough. So we have taken it upon ourselves, sacrificed whole hours of our time, to engage with and review a number of Aussie spec fic texts.

australian space stamps — look how old they are!

Some upcoming highlights:

Shiver! As Liz watches a movie with many shots of sinister wind farms!
Tremble! As Steph reads horror books on the plane to Perth!
Gasp with delight! At the Indian-Australian YA spec fic anthology with pictures, what the hell, give us more.
Wibble With Discomfort! As Liz digs up some hardcore claustrophobic body horror for readers aged 9-14.
Whine with jealousy! As Steph steals books from Australian small presses to read!
Look on with envy! As Liz steals them from Steph and reads them herself!
And, be not surprised! As Steph starts the week with sitting on a panel and threatening to throw books against the wall.

We’ll update this post at the end of the week to be a master list, but we would love for you to come on this journey with us. Tell us you disagree with us, or agree, or just aren’t sure.

Table of Contents:

Reading the Hugos: The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison

On July 23, 2015 By Liz BarrIn books, Hugos 2015

This is the last of my Hugo reading, as I decided after the short stories that life is already full of pointless suffering, and why should I inflict more upon myself? Plus, I’ve had a convention to chair, a novel to write/revise, and also a day job.

Accordingly, my ballot looks like this:

The John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer and Best Fan Artist

Not voting, haven’t had time to do research.

Best Fan Writer

Not voting, as the only nominated writer I’ve read is Laura J Mixon for her piece on RequiresHate/Winterfox/Benjanun Sriduangkaew, which to my mind doesn’t constitute a body of work. (Plus, I just hate giving Sriduangkaew oxygen.)

Best Fancast

I’ve only ever enjoyed one podcast enough to listen to it religiously. (Sorry, podcasters, I’m just not very aurally-oriented.) Luckily, Galactic Suburbia is one of the nominees. I’m going to give that my first preference, and otherwise not vote.

Best Fanzine, Best Semiprozine, Best Professional Artist, Best Editors (long form and short form)

Not voting, as haven’t had time to look at nominees.

Best Dramatic Presentation, Short Form

Finally, a category where I’m familiar with more than one nominee! I’ll be voting thusly:

1. Orphan Black, “By Means Which Have Never Yet Been Tried”

2. Doctor Who, “Listen”

3. Game of Thrones, “The Mountain and the Viper”

I haven’t seen Flash or Grimm, so I’m ignoring those. I hope Orphan Black wins, just because I love it so much, and the second season finale was outstanding — but I also suspect this episode will be completely mystifying to anyone who hasn’t watched at least the preceding season. Likewise Game of Thrones.

“Listen”, on the other hand, is a perfect, standalone piece of creepypasta, and I adored it, and won’t be at all sorry if it wins.

Best Dramatic Presentation, Long Form

I’ve seen three of the nominated movies — Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Guardians of the Galaxy and The Lego Movie — but I can’t get excited about any of them. I’m not voting in this category.

(Stephanie note: This is because Liz doesn’t have enough heart to have feelings about the Steeb and Bucky story)

(Liz response: My heart is a cold, misandrist lump of coal with no room for manpain.)

Best Graphic Story

You know, I probably have time to read the nominated works before the deadline. I read Ms Marvel: No Normal last year, and loved it, but there are a couple of other nominees that were already on my radar. Let me come back to this.

Best Related Work

I’m not voting in this one, partially because I haven’t read any of the nominees, but also because I’m pissed off that the thoroughly deserving Queers Dig Time Lords didn’t get a nomination, thanks, Puppies.

Plus, Companion Piece — remember that book I co-edited? — is eligible for nomination next year, and I feel like I just have too much personal involvement in this category.

Best Short Story

No Award. No hesitation.

(Okay, some hesitation.)

Best Novelette and Best Novella

Not voting; haven’t read them.

Best Novel

The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu
Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie
The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison
No Award

“Wow, Liz,” you might be thinking, “you’re ranking The Goblin Emperor below Ancillary Sword, which you were quite lukewarm about?”

Yes, Hypothetical Reader, I was surprised, too. Lots of my friends loved The Goblin Emperor, and found it engaging and enjoyable on every level. And that’s great! I am quite happy, and also a little jealous, that they enjoyed it so much.

I found it beautifully written, with interesting worldbuilding, and completely boring.

The plot: Maia, unloved half-goblin son of the elf emperor, unexpectedly takes the throne when his father and half-brothers are all murdered. Despite his lack of training, and lack of self-confidence, he sorts out various political situations and solves the mystery by being really, really decent to people.

I’ve seen a lot of people saying that The Goblin Emperor is a response to the trend for grimdark fantasy. I really hope not, because the opposite of grimdark is not dull.

I feel a bit weird saying this, because Characters Being Competent and Political Shenanigans are two of my favourite things in fiction. But Maia’s competence feels unearned. He instinctively knows how to deal with people, he instantly befriends trustworthy and reliable allies, and where he makes bad decisions, the consequences are minor.

Likewise, the Political Shenanigans are, well, predictable. The traitors are just who you would expect, and Maia deals with them appropriately, and no one minds very much because the traitors weren’t even that good at their jobs, let alone popular or widely supported.

I’ve been thinking about the problems with The Goblin Emperor for a few weeks, and I think what it needed was a second POV character. Maia is interesting, but he has very little context for the places he goes and the things he does, and that gets old fast. And all of the supporting characters around him are two-dimensional in the extreme. It’s difficult to imagine any of them having a life that doesn’t revolve around the main character.

Likewise the women — not that there are many. The sympathetic female characters are what I think of when I hear that horrible phrase “awesome ladies”: they turn up, do or say something to subvert the patriarchy, and then step back and let the men get on with the plot stuff (such as it is).

The unsympathetic women are all ambitious and super-feminine (and they’re still subordinate to the plot-driving men).

In short, I was extremely disappointed in The Goblin Emperor, and really only forced myself to finish it for the sake of the Hugos. It’s possible I was just in the mood for something more plot-driven. But I don’t plan to read anything else by Addison, whether under that name or her Sarah Monette identity. Life’s too short.