It’s award nomination season in SFF! For the world at large, we have the Hugos, and within Australia, there are the Ditmars.
Here are the things that Team No Award have done which are eligible for nomination this year, and you should DEFINITELY nominate us for some stuff because we’re angry Australian ladies who talk about pop culture:
IBM released a new campaign ostensibly for women in STEM called #hackahairdryer. It’s since been pulled, but not before I watched the video three times in order to form an opinion after seeing twitter outrage all day.
I want mine solar powered and sentient.
I wonder if flatmate of No Award Bella will mind if I hack her hairdryer?
I know my science is enviro but I had a Dick Smith Electronic Set when I was a kid and I was bloody good at it.
Continue reading “thoughts i have had whilst watching #hackahairdryer three times”
Keen to nominate in 2016’s Hugo Awards when the time comes, but don’t know where to start? Renay is maintaining a GoogleDoc (with submission form) for eligible works.
If you’re in Australia, you should also keep an eye on the 2016 Ditmar eligibility list. The categories don’t entirely overlap with the Hugos, but it makes a handy source of reading suggestions.
Diversity Panels I’d Like To See – Want something a bit more substantial (and less well-trod) than “_____ in SF”? Check these out!
‘Is Critical Analysis Foreign to Chinese Students‘, an academic article, is basic but interesting.
This review of Round the Twist speaks to Steph’s very soul: Have You Ever Felt Like This: Going Round the Twist again
Watching Round the Twist is sprawling in a soggy chloriney cossie in front of the telly, fighting with my brother, eating spag bol, riding bikes, throwing a tantrum when Mum donated my pink Barbie convertible to kids in need. There’s no other show that takes me back to who I was as a kid and lets me identify the parts of me that have remained intact, and reliving it really has been the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. Because it taught me that if ladies can be clowns and penises can be propellers and Daddos can be actors, I can really be anything I want to be, and that’s just as important for me to hear now as it was when I was six.
The evolution of female pen-names from Currer Bell to J.K. Rowling
In the lead up to Fringe, a Melbourne artist is putting up Unwelcome mats in front of government buildings.
There is an Indigenous Dance Movie!
Rebel Sport Seeks Asylum From Claims It Ripped Off Refugee Video To Flog Stuff On Father’s Day
Taylor Swift made a colonialist music video, right before joining Nicki Minaj on an actually-African-inspired-with-actually-black-people performance at the VMAs. Awks.
Tony Abbott had an interview with Alan Jones and this is just the machine transcript but
the Nazis did terrible evil but they had the sufficient sense of shame to try to hide it
?? !! ? (also abortions are like Nazis)
On turning slacktivists into activists.
Yesterday was Indigenous Literacy Day, but Indigenous literacy is important all year. No Award highly recommends supporting the Indigenous Literacy Foundation all the days of the year.
This weekend Liz and a host of No Award staff writers visited The Museum of Old and New Art, or MONA, in Hobart. And so, a shop review in brief.
Liz wrote:
Too many postcards for old exhibits and not enough for current ones; no Ah Xian postcards, which is unfortunate because I love him and would have bought one.
Strongly book-focused, with jewelry that you can get from the NGV for the same price.
The cunt soap (actual name) was a highlight, except for the peppermint scented one, which just seems intrinsically uncomfortable. Well, nothing about MONA is meant to be comfortable, but I don’t think genital itch is what they were going for.
TL;DR: two stars.
No Award staff writer Ashleigh notes: what I did appreciate was that the book collection was pretty well focused on artists whose work is or has been on display. that is surprisingly uncommon.
Museum: Museum of Old and New Art
Location: 655 Main Road Berriedale, Hobart, Tasmania
Items purchased: Liz purchased a postcard of “the Star Trek exhibit“; Noted Fatberg Zoe purchased a tote bag; Official Calligrapher Moya purchased “a fatcar postcard & a novelty blood filled syringe pen with which to creep out my new work frans.” Ashleigh purchased these things and also has a list of books she plans to purchase cheaper from book depository.
Getting There: Liz and the No Award staff writers flew to Hobart and drove to Mona because the boat is $20 a head and is basically there to disguise the lower middle-class suburbs that surround MONA.
Date and Time Visited: mid arvo, Saturday
ETA: Official Calligrapher Moya wishes to amend her review to give MONA negative points, as “the syringe pen is gross and blobby enough to not function as a pen at all”. Unfortunate, though that is often the way with novelty syringe pens.
No Award loves sharks, okay?
Important shark radar: OCEARCH, tracking international sharks. And a Western Australian shark tracker: Shark Smart. Please note that the WA State Government engages in disgusting anti-shark behaviour, and No Award’s linking to the Shark Smart site is only so you can gaze respectfully and lovingly at the sharks in Western Australian waters.
There’s sharks in Monday’s First Dog on the Moon, and it’s a good reminder that even sharks can be right-wing.
Shark survives attack by Australian surfer.
Williams was minding his own business at Jeffreys Bay off the coast of South African, when a chance encounter with professional surfer and full-time Aussie Mick Fanning left him facing a series of potentially lethal blows.
Which is the shark news reporting on this incident reported Monday morning.
Further in shark news: Shark nets planned for Sorrento Beach in Perth and Albany’s Middleton Beach. Shark nets are bad for sharks, WA! Stop using them! And Instructor’s paddle ski attacked by shark while training students in waters off Gold Coast.
If you’re interested in getting angry about our anti-shark Australian media, the shark tag at Our ABC is worth the occasional visit.
And a reminder that if you want to get angry about a misuse of meteorology and sharks at the same time, Sharknado 3 is coming. No Award will not deign to link to it, but might get drunk and watch it.
You could follow the average shark twitter. Steph does.
Why does No Award like sharks so much? They eat both penguins and cephalopods. But we can all live in awesomeness, I guess.
The ABC brings us an important fatberg update from Brisbane. (Maybe not safe to read if you’re eating. A key quote: “We always get corn.”)
Official rebuttal from Noted Fatberg Zoe: #NOTALLFATBERGS
The Breakfast Clubbing Season – In which an intrepid ABC editor inserted talking ex-prime ministerial heads into the trailer for The Breakfast Club. Many thanks to Friend of No Award Sarah B for bringing this to our attention.
Why Grandma’s Sad, tales from the olds who need youths to get off their lawn, pay attention to grandparents, prioritise boring adults, etc etc. Steph laughed her way through this whole thing, it’s so great.
Kids spend an enormous amount of time looking at a type of device that didn’t really exist ten years ago. Among some young people, looking at these devices is the central animating activity. This is weird. Truly! Younger people are cyborgs and older people are meat, more or less.
At The Conversation: Coles: Not So Good For Humanity, Particularly If You’re A Truck Driver. We’re not saying Steph spent her birthday phonecall from her sister lecturing her sister about not going to Coles for strawberries, but Stephanie has long-term frowned at Australia’s supermarket duopoly (whilst occasionally still using it).
WA, no: WA’s Department of Culture and Arts under fire for ‘turning hoses’ on homeless.
This post was great: Why I’m Done Defending Women’s Sports.
While I’m being asked why “no one cares,” the Women’s World Cup is getting ratings that would make the NBA or Major League Baseball weep with joy. While ESPN Radio self-parody Colin Cowherd says that men are stronger and better athletes and we appreciate greatness in America and that’s why men’s sports is more fun to watch, his radio contract appears in peril because fewer and fewer people care what he has to say.
Steph loves Mount Zero Olive Oil, she can buy it in bulk (pouring it directly into her oil bottles) from Friends of the Earth and it tastes lovely and it’s from Victoria. But I probably wasn’t this thief. Thieves steal almost 600 litres of extra virgin olive oil from Grampians grove Mount Zero Olives.
Liz notes: “probably”.
Plastic Free July update: Steph almost had a meltdown in the aisles of Minh Phat in Richmond, when she realised her choices were the following, as a Chinese-Malaysian in Australia:
Reader, she bought her oyster mushrooms grown in Victoria, wrapped in plastic and on a polystyrene board; she bought her noodles fresh made and wrapped in a plastic bag. She is going to make tofu tonight at home, so at least she has that. Anyway, cultural elements of Western society concepts that are about individualism and clash with other things, etc etc.
You see, for him and his colleagues, individual consumption wasn’t considered to be in the realm of politics at all. Power rested not in what you did as one person, but what you did as many people, as one part of a large, organized, and focused movement. For him, this meant organizing workers to go on strike for better conditions, and eventually it meant winning the right to unionize. What you ate for lunch or happened to be wearing was of absolutely no concern whatsoever.
Invisible Australians: Life under the White Australia policy.
Finally, Melbourne is about to enter a cold snap, so here’s a pattern for a penguin hot water bottle cover. Stay warm!
If you haven’t read it yet, this is essential reading: Time to tell the truth before I’m gagged: Australia’s detention centres ruin lives. As of July 1, workers at Nauru can’t talk about conditions, and conditions are bad.
Danielle Binks has written a ‘if you like this US YA book, read this Oz YA book’ post, and it is excellent. Choose Aussie YA – #LoveOzYA readalikes. (No Award disclaimer: We never recommend Tomorrow, When the War Began.)
Transgender Women Are Falling Through Cracks In Australia’s Homeless System.
The Federal Government has decided to remove funding from the Aboriginal Medical Service Western Sydney. You can sign the petition to keep it funded. AMSWS is a great service and has over 11,000 active patients, and we should always support Indigenous services, No Award.
Maria is leaving Sesame Street; obviously this is not as big a tragedy as that time Benita left Play School, but she’s been there for 44 years so we can commemorate that.
Gillian Triggs criticises the NT intervention; I cannot believe we’re still discussing this shit. I can’t believe it’s still happening. The NT intervention is wrong, quokkas.
Bree Newsome climbed a flag pole (!!!) and removed the Confederate Flag. She spoke to Blue Nation Review about why she did it. She’s amazing! What great work.
Not to make this about No Award, but it has been illuminating learning about the Confederate Flag and everything it stood (stands) for in the USA.
A robot killed a factory worker. Which is terrible! But also the VF article is hilarious, I kept laughing.
The list of buildings for Open House Melbourne has been released! No Award loves buildings.
Portrait of a Lady; “Something changed when Africans began to take photographs of one another: You can see it in the way they look at the camera, in the poses, the attitude.” SO GREAT.
Lost Undertaker on Lake Burley Griffin:
It is understood some relatives of patients at Clare Holland House, which sits on the edge of the lake at Barton, felt the sight of the coffin kayaker out the hospice’s windows was inappropriate and insensitive.
HELP, TOO FUNNY.
The politics of ugly food. Steph has literally ended friendships over peoples’ inability to accept my ugly, smelly, green food, because it’s evidence of the way our (your) food is colonised and also pandan is the greatest.
Have you encountered the Public Records Office of Victoria yet? Because it has lots of awesome online and in person exhibitions, including Forgotten Faces: Chinese and the Law. Into it. PROV is No Award’s new favourite website.
Steph is doing Plastic Free July, because Australians send 1 million tonnes of plastic waste to landfill each year. Stay tuned for how badly she fails at it.
Are you supporting the chronically and sexistly underpaid and totally amazing women sportsplayers of Australia? Read about The Matildas losing and resuming their status as women at The Tunnel.
The last week in No Award: No Award Reads The Courier’s New Bicycle; that couple that can’t get divorced; An excellent and 1000% appropriate Mad Max: Fury Road fan mix.
Suburban creepypasta: a child has a recurring nightmare about a man standing outside his room with a light … turns out it’s not a dream.
No Award loves (a) cocktails; (b) casino heists. Here’s a story that combines both! We expect it to be turned into a Hollywood movie any day now, but set in Las Vegas and starring white people.
NOT A JOKE: Superdancer of No Award’s childhood, Paul Mercurio, has an Urbanspoon account and he really, really cares about your food. Paul thinks every dining experience is the Pan Pacifics, and it’s great. He just wants you to be happy!
He wants what’s best for you!
He doesn’t want to tell you bad news, but he’s just so disappointed and all he wants is for you to do well!
He knows that when you’re doing work you can still find time for a nice meal.
He used to own a restaurant called Merc’s Bier, and he totally supports you if you need to be alone – Paul would never shame you for dining on your own.
His Urbanspoon account is a delight:
Look at his excitement! So great.
See more from Paul on Urbanspoon or Twitter. Nobody quote Strictly Ballroom at him or I’ll be very disappointed in you. (You can quote it at me though. Never get tired of NEW STEPS)
This month in Birds of Australia with Hayley and Michael, we bring you Michael being wrong.
Hayley Says
Look, I want it straight from the beginning that I love parrots. Parrots are my favourite species of bird alongside owls and ordinarily I adore all varieties of these extremely clever, colourful and cute birds.
But rainbow lorikeets are destructive, brightly coloured emissaries from BIRD HELL.
“Oh but they’re so beautiful Hayley, with all their flashy bright colours, like a casino or carnival sideshow alley, two other things that distract me with visuals while committing untold evil right under my nose.” NO, WRONG, WHY DID YOU EVER LISTEN TO KEATS WHEN HE SAID BEAUTY EQUALED TRUTH, KEATS DIDN’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BIRDS AND WAS FULL OF LIIIIIIIIIES.
I am here to prove to you that rainbow lorikeets are nasty, bullying, loud, messy, feral birds that you should never let near your person, your garden, your city, your life. Order of the day is: rainbow lorikeets are bastards.
Rainbow lorikeets are highly territorial about their breeding areas, and will aggressively attack other birds to drive them away, and not just smaller birds like noisy miners, but large birds like magpies. I’m not sure if you’re aware of the dangerous nature of the Australian magpie, but they are not to be trifled with, and the fact that flocks of lorikeets regularly succeed in driving off nesting magpies proves that lorikeets are FUCKING TERRIFYING.
What is most terrifying about lorikeets is when they become established in a non-native environment. A release of lorikeets in Perth in the 1960s (rumoured to have originated from the University of WA, ACADEMICS YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER) has resulted in a feral population that has officially been declared pests. Settling in the metro area, giant flocks of lorikeets now travel daily, using the highways to navigate, and descend upon the orchards and vineyards of the Swan Valley stripping them of their fruit, which has resulted in the Western Australian government instigating culls of the bird. They also compete with many native WA species for nesting hollows, muscling out species such as the purple-crowned lorikeet and Carnaby’s black cockatoo, the latter of which is endangered. There are also introduced populations of lorikeets in Auckland, New Zealand, which also precipitated a government enforced cull, and in Hong Kong. Rainbow lorikeets could descend upon your city AT ANY MOMENT.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, rainbow lorikeets are noise polluters. You will know when a flock of lorries are in the neighbourhood because the noise is WINDOW SHATTERINGLY LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS. How anyone can enjoy these shrill, piercing shrieks I have no idea. Walking under flocks of them rustling about in trees I have to clasp my hands over my ears so as not to go immediately deaf. Also if flocks take up residence in your neighbourhood, along with noise-cancelling headphones make sure you get shoes you don’t mind been ruined by MOUNTAINS OF LORRY SHIT.
I should at least give rainbow lorikeets some grudging credit for adapting so well to urban environments, but there’s one way this adaptation is actually killing them – idiot humans feeding them food that is bad for their little guts and giving them bacterial bowel infections. So if you wind up somewhere where rainbow lorikeet feeding is an attraction, don’t participate, don’t leave bread or honey or artificial nectar out for them in your own garden, it is all a very bad idea. Especially because they’ll just swarm in making a horrid noise, poop everywhere, muscle out all the other birds and ruin your fruit trees.
One feather.
Michael Says
As I’m sure you’ve realised by now, I like to cultivate an identity as a bit of a bird nerd – constantly carting my binoculars around with me, correcting people who talk about birds (“They’re silver gulls. There’s actually no such bird as a seagull.” etc) and spoiling holidays by insisting on taking a detour past a swamp or a sewerage pond. It’s all part of my shtick. And key to any self-respecting bird-nerds shtick is a disdain for the showy and obvious birds, the common and colourful birds. “Sure, sure, that rainbow bee-eater is lovely,” I’m meant to say, “but look at the subtle stippling on that brown thornbill. Now that’s beautiful!”
Well pish posh to that. I guess I better hand in my twitchin’ licence and my binoculars, because I am an absolute sucker for gaudy, colourful birds – the more extravagant the better. There’s a certain embarrassing pride that comes from knowing your thornbills from your weebills (full disclosure: I misidentify these birds about 70% of the time), but nothing beats a ludicrously colourful parrot screeching aggressively in your face. Nothing.
I know, I know – mean ol’ rainbow lorikeets are the bullies of the parrot world, driving other species out of nesting hollows and officially achieving ‘pest’ status in WA, but like Rory Gilmore confronted with Jess’ broodingly attractive awfulness, I just don’t care. I’ll take beauty every time. And look, rainbow lorikeets are ridiculously, astoundingly beautiful. LOOK!
They’re so common around Australian cities that we forget how remarkable they are – we barely even glance up as they cut across the sky like little groups of flying jewels. Ask an overseas visitor what they think of them and I guarantee you they love the goddamn hell out of them. The only reason SOME PEOPLE don’t is because they’ve stopped really looking at them, or have generally lost the ability to feel joy. As Miss Piggy famously said, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
It’s worth remembering that the current oversized population of rainbow lorikeets is a slightly odd aberration – up until the 1960s, rainbow lorikeets were almost never seen in Victoria and were scarce around Sydney. For some reason, the population blew up in the 1970s and 80s and they spread throughout the Eastern states – it’s all a bit mysterious, although increasing urban growth of native flowering plants, feeding stations and even Currumbin Sanctuary have been blamed.
They’re now firmly a bird of the urban environment, feeding on an array of flowers but also on fruit, seeds, insects and, in a horrifying recent development, raw meat. They nest in hollows, which they aggressively stake out, putting pressure on meeker parrot species who are bullied out of nesting sites (although it’s hard to feel sorry for the much bigger Australian Ringnecks, who really just need to toughen up a bit). And yes, they’re considered pests by some people. Particularly by farmers in WA, who complain that the birds destroy their precious orchards. It’s worth remembering though, that farmers will complain about anything – if we listened to farmers, Western Australia wouldn’t have any Australian ringnecks left to worry about because the farmers would have shot them all). If we listened to farmers, we’d be shooting flying foxes left, right and centre (oh wait, we already are).
Look, the point is: farmers love nothing more than complaining (except maybe shooting native animals), so I’m not going to listen to their whining about one of the most beautiful birds in the world. Get over it farmers! Who eats fruit anyway? Rainbow lorikeets bring colour and joy to the drabness of the city, bring beauty to our otherwise grey urban existences and scare the shit out of our cat when they fly, screeching, just a few metres above our balcony. I bloody love them, and so should you.
Five feathers.
Bird: Rainbow Lorikeet
Hayley: One feather
Michael: Five feathers
(Otamatone otamatone otamatone
Otamatone in the post)
On the weekend, Steph was trying to talk about the Otamotone, but couldn’t remember its name. So she googled “Greensleeves descent into hell” and found exactly the video she was looking for.
The hero of the Otamatone is Nobumichi Tosa, who truly loves the Otamatone, and wants you to, as well.
Here he is playing the OTAMATONE DELUXE (オタマトーンDX):
The otamatone is a “singing toy”, but to call it that undermines the pure devilry of the instrument. It’s like koalas mating. It’s like the descent into the underworld. Wiki says it’s like a theremin, jīnghú or synthesiser, and that description is doing those actual legitimate instruments a disservice.
The otamatone is the official instrument of the No Award Staff Writers; but not, we hasten to point out, the official instrument of No Award.
Bonus:
no-award.net 