We are good, kind people, and that is why we enjoy sending each other photos of truly awful things and threatening to give them as gifts.
Previously on No Award: 53 important life lessons from Australian music of the ’90s
Look, the 90s weren’t all hypercolour and flower hats. We took some terrible things to heart in the 90s, too.
So your parent/friend/ex-wife’s coworker’s partner is travelling to Australia, and has offered to bring you back something delicious and uniquely Australia. But how will they know? NO AWARD IS HERE FOR YOU.
Continue reading “edible australian care package”
Last night on the nation’s nightmare, Q and A, Kelly O’Dwyer mentioned helping a small business buy a $6000 toaster. Which is just perfect, after Malcolm Turnbull suggesting parents loan their kids money to buy their first home (???!!) which is, obviously, very possible.
Anyway, here are some things No Award could buy with $6000 from the government:
Six weeks ago yesterday, I broke my foot. Suffice to say, it was a learning experience, and the main lesson was, breaking your foot is terrible, don’t do it.
Here are some other things I’ve learned.
(Note: post contains X-rays of feet — I don’t know if anyone else out there has lifelong Issues with foot bones, but we thought we should give a heads-up just in case.)
If you’re going to release shoes celebrating an iconic female character, you’re probably not even going to stop and wonder if they’ll be available to women. Because that’s a no-brainer, right? Obviously they’ll be marketed to everyone.
Inspired by the full-body shudder felt by the entire nation, where a man took a photo of a woman in Woolies and then tried to crowd source finding her, including asking Woolies, cos she was the love of his life (HELP), No Award brings you terrible ways to start a relationship.
Content warning: cephalopod mortality
I met a woman last week; her eyes sparkled like she’d consumed three entire galaxies, her hair floated with the lives she’d consumed, and her skin – oh! Her skin!
In light of the PLEASE LET IT BE TRUE Seagulls on a Train story coming out of Frankston yesterday, No Award brings you: beings you don’t want to share a Metro train carriage with.
(Seriously but first go read Seagulls on a Train first) Continue reading “Don’t get in this Metro train carriage”
Previously: 2014 Gift Giving Guide
Do you want to give a present to the Antipodean squid, penguin or shark in your life? Well, do we have the gift guide for you.